Unwanted flower
by Pany-chaan
Summary: Deidara is on his way home to Tokyo, when he's suddenly kidnapped. After who knows how long he finds himself waking up in the arms of a handsome redhead. He has no memory of who he is or where he comes from, or how the world works. 'I'll take care of you, until you remember who you really are.' / Main: Sasodei. (Hidaita, Hidadei & Peinkona) AU. slightly OOC Sasori!
1. Don't cry, I care

**Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, owner of Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden!

**Warnings:** Sasori IS SUPPOSED TO BE OOC in this fanfiction, and don't let it disturb you too much, IT IS GOING TO CHANGE, sooner or later.  
Deidara is girly and all vulnerable in the two first chapters, because I used to like Deidara like that.  
Now, it only disgusts me D:

So, keep in mind, the first two chapters are not well written at all, but if you keep writing, you'll eventually get to the new chapters

**Author's Note:** So, I got the idea while reading Chobits!  
I'm glad I decided to start updating this ffc, ppl seem to like it. I haven't got it all plotted out, but I never write down the whole plot when making a Fanfiction.  
Even if the two first chapters disgust me, you guys seem like you don't mind.. And I'm so thankful for that.  
DEIDARA HAS A CUTE ASS. Anyways,

The cursive writing in the end and beginning are not only Deidara's thoughts, they're small poems. Sometimes they reflect Deidara's feelings and thoughts, sometimes they reflect people's feelings towards each other...

Enjoy,

* * *

_Unwanted flower Chapter 1_  
Don't cry. I care.

_I feel so much pain._  
_It's like a black flower growing inside my body._  
_I peel the petals burning away my hips._  
_And the pistil melting my heart down._  
_Down to nothing._  
_I'm nothing._  
_Not anymore..._

"Put these clothes on!"  
_The man threw a colorful outfit towards me. I didn't want to pick it up, but he forced me to. This was awful. It was pinup clothes. Does this man even know that I am a guy!?_  
_He looked dirty and smelled back. When I had the clothes on, he grabbed my hair and started dragging me into a house. It was so dark and queit. We walked up a few stairs and everytime he dragged me along I sobbed higher and higher. Yes, I was crying. I had been crying for a long time now. Ever since I was throwed into that big, white truck. It was horrible._

_I was sitting on the plane to my home in Tokyo, and before I knew it I had arrived. I stepped out of the plane and headed out of the airport. Suddeny a man stepped in front of me and asked me if I had forgotten something. I answered simply 'no', but the man said I had forgotten my passport. He didn't let me check, instead he dragged me to the back of the airport and into a dark corner. I asked him why we were heading to the back, but he told me it was a shortcut. I was convinced. But then he dragged me behind that truck so that no one would see us. Without wasting time he tryed to force me into the truck but i was fighting back. But he was stronger and he punched me right in the face and then in my stomach. He throwed me into the back of the truck and i saw him talking to another man. The man who drove me to the house. I was frightened. What was going to happend to me?, I thought._  
_The man was much taller and bigger than me so i couldn't belive that i would ever be able to overpower him. He shouted at me everytime i sobbed or let out any noise. We drove into a dark road and stopped. He let me out of the truck, leaving my baggage in there, and we headed into the house._

_Thats the story. I have no idea of what is going to happend to me but I know It's something not too good. But since I got these pinnup clothes I guess its some dirty work! I sobbed really high on this thought but the man punched me in my gut. I thought I was going to throw up for a moment... I was dragged through another corridor. When we reached the end of the dark corridor , he pushed me into a corner. He held my hair up and yelled at me._"You are going to have sex with this man got it?!"  
_I froze. At once, tears started floading down my cheeks._"Why would I do this!?"_,I screamed. My answer came quickly;_ "Cuse I'm getting paid for it. and, baby, you really have no other choice"  
_Oh god... How could this have happened to me!? Why? What have I done? The world feels so cruel...Just kill me already! I rather die! ...But there may be a little way out of this;_ "Do you even know I'm male?!" _I yelled. The man stared at me and my distroyed face for a long time untinl he slapped my face very hard so blood started running down my mouth. "_You little bitch! Now he'll pay me less!" _I was so disgusted at this sentence. Did this man even know what he was doing!? But what could I do?! _  
_Destiny is cruel after all._  
_I would probably end up dying on one of those empty streets..._  
_I cryed and cryed unitl the man had enough. He slapped me again and told me to shut up. I followed his orders and he pushed me in front of one of the corridor doors. He knocked and suddleny a bigger, uglyer and dirtyer man stepped in front of the door._  
_Was this him? It couln't be...! no! NO! never! I am not going to do this! Oh god don't be so cruel! Dont do this to me! What have i done to diserve this?! WHY?_

_The dirtyer man looked at me and grinned. I sobbed at this. The other man was telling him about my gender. This made the other one angry, but he calmed down when the other said that he could have me for half the price. The fat man smiled and took one of my blonde locks and said_ "Okey, He's sexy and thin after all...and blonde"_ and chuckled_ "Typical bitch...". _He really scared me... How dared he...!? I couldnt' even imagine what he was going to do with me...! I wanted to punch his hand that was touching my hair so badly! But that would probably earn another punch in my stomach. I couldnt stand him touching me. How would i go through this?! I watched as he gave the other the money and closed the door. After that, I felt like the earth had turned its back to me. I didn't care what would happend to me next and i stopped crying. I felt like nothing mattered. And I Felt like my life would end right there...But... Who cares?_

Working on a restaurant was hard and that's why Sasori always walked home so tired. It was the best and most popular resturant in Tokyo, causing many visitors and stuff... But he didn't complain though! He was payed good and the boss was nice and the working outfit wasn't too bad either!  
Today was a day of those days when he didn't have to do so much waiter work. Instead he cleaned the dishes and throwed garbage. Joy! But he still kept his outfit on! It was the normal waiter clothes, the ones you can imagine... like chobits or something... anyways.  
The work he had to do right now was to throw some more garbage. Absolutely the funniest thing to do! Outside the resturants backdoor was a small street were they threw all used stuff. He had found a cat there once but that didn't matter much... It was seven o clock when he opened the door and stepped out, It was so dark, and there he saw all those big containers they threw the stuff in, most of them full. He made his way to a container and threw the plastic bag into it. Then he suddenly saw a body in the next container. Well that's odd...

Wait...  
What!?  
A body?!

He runned towards it to take a better look. Yep, It was a human body... and not a very clean one... and it looked horrible! Poor thing! It was beatiful, with long blonde hair and a exhausted sweet face.  
He took the body in his arms bridal style and walked out of the street. Fuck job, he was going to take her home, he couldn't just leave her there. When they arrived outside the apartment he wasted no time in rushing up to the highest floor. He stepped in and closed the door when he was in. He walked in to his own room and put the 'woman' on his bed. ...So?...What would he do next? He took a good look at the girls body. Every inch was so perfect, just screaming to be touched. And the hair was long, blonde but very uncombed. There was a pony-tail too, but it was almost down... The face was wonderful, cheeks and eyes so cute... But... Why the hell was she wearing strip clothes?! Sasori stood and walked to his wardrobe. He took a white loose T-shirt and he also found some napkins, might as well clean her face. He walked back to the bed and put the shirt on the girl, without removing anything. He wasn't a perv after all. (just a little...)  
He cleaned the girls face with the napkins, her skin was warm and soft, but it didn't smell too well... When he was done, he threw the napkins on the besidetable and crawled up on the bed. He sat there for a moment... He wondered were the girl came from, why she was lying in the containers behind that big building and... Wait a minute... What if she was a...Whore or something...? He shaked a bit at the thought, but he doubted that this georgeous, innocent looking creature could be a... Nah, couldn't be.  
Another thought reached his mind. What would Hidan say? Hidan, his oh so loverly roommate. Hah...hah... Shit... Sasori picked up his mobile out of his pocket and started to write a sms:

Sasori to Hidan-  
I found this girl outside the resturant, unconscious! She looked  
damn screwed up so I took her home. Hurry up and get  
your ass here!

When the sms;ing was done he noticed the girl was moving. But just a bit, It didn't seem like she was going to wake up any and time soon... He maybe could try to take that stupid brah of her... It really disgusted him. The girl didnt seem all that comfotable in it either so... He slowly putted his arms inside the shirt and looked away. His face was half red and he feeled wrong about doing all this, the girl was a total stranger after all! But still.  
He slowly reached for the brah...

Deidara started to open his eyes, but he almost failed with that. Heavy-lidded eyes, he observed he was on a bed.  
What?  
A-a bed?!  
He layed there, shocked when he opened his eyes totally. Were was he?! A bed, a white roof, a man with red hair trying to strip him off, and ...!?  
Suddenly all the memories of last night touched his mind.  
He sat up and screamed as he slapped the red mans head. He didn't want anymore!  
"Stop it you shit!" He looked with fear in the eyes at the man.  
Sasoris heart jumped when he heard the scream, and that women hit damn hard...  
"Ah..."  
Oh shit, she must be damn scrared... Who wouldn't have been? A stranger, sitting on a bed with you while taking your clothes off! Yuck!  
"I-it's ok I-"  
"Wasn't yesterday enough!?"  
"What are you sa-"  
"I can't take anymore! I'm sick of this whole story!"  
"I wansn't tryi-"  
"Just kill me already, It's not worth to live anymore..."  
Now tears started to run down his cheeks.  
"I-I don't want to live... who cares if i'm alive or not... So, why should I live when I don't want to!?"  
Deidara really meant this. He was like an ant on earth. No one would care if he was alive or not. Who would care? No one. He had no one. No one cared about him.

Imagine how it feels. A fleeting life.

Sasori just stared at the woman - who sounded more like a man - with pityful eyes. What had she been trough? She sounded so sad. But he didn't like someone talking about wanting to die. Neither did he like that the girl thought he was trying to rape her or something.  
"Hey, take it easy... I wasn't trying anything, you just didn't seem comfortable. You don't look like a stripper. I promise-!"  
"No, don't give me that shit! I don-"  
"Calm down!"  
"No! I'm sick of being a sextoy for you guys! I'm sick of this life and I..."  
Deidara cryed out and Sasori looked at him in a shocked way. Sextoy!?  
"What have you been through...?" he almost whispered.  
"What I've been through...? What were you doing?!"  
"I wasn't trying to rape you if thats what you think! Why can't you belive me?!"  
Why he didn't belive him? Wasn't that obvious?! Who belived strangers who took their clothes off on a bed with... Tsk...  
"I don't know you!"  
"I know you don't but-"  
"And you don't know me! You don't know what i've been through!"  
"Then tell me! I'm listening!"

"Just let it all out. You can't keep it in there forever."  
"Ah..."  
This time Deidara began to cry again, Sasori hushed him and comforted him by placing one hand on his shoulder. Deidara slapped the hand away but Sasori didn't care.  
"Tell me everthing. I promise, I don't want to hurt you!"  
"...Are you sure?"  
"I am."  
"...I can't remember much... but... A big man... He made me wear these clothes... And he led me through a dark, bad smelling corridor... Then that other man... openend a door. He was so ugly, dirty, fat and ...He gave that other man the money and led me in... After that, I guess you can imagine what happened..."  
Deidara continued to cry and Sasori looked at him in a disgusted and angry way.  
He hated people like that. How could you sell a human? How could you have heart enough to do that?! When he heard the girls higher sobs, he couldn't just sit there. He placed his arms around her back and stroked her.  
Deidara felt the warm strokes calm him down, and he hugged the redhaired man back. He didn't care about him being a starger. He needed the comforting...  
Sasori, too, felt odd. But what gives! Poor thing had been raped! He couldn't even imagine how it felt to be raped but of course he knew how it was...  
"Shh... It's okay, It wont happend again..."  
"Uhhu... You..."  
Deidara thought about what the man had said. He didn't want to hurt him.. And he wasn't trying anything... Okey so maybe he was telling the thruth? The man was handsome and probably had a wife and family... So why would he want to harm someone like him?!  
"Why did you bring me here? Don't you have a family to take care of?"  
Sasori chuckled at the thought of him having a family.  
"Family? Only if you mean my roommate Hidan, and he's only my buddy."  
Deidara rose a brow. What?! He didn't have a family?!  
"Do you live here...? With Hidan...?"  
"Yep."  
"So you don't have a wife or something?"  
Sasori smiled.  
"Nope."  
"Oh..."  
Now Deidara was starting to get worried again. There was chances that the man was one of those who had buyed him... But when had he buyed him?  
"How did you get me, un?"  
"Oi! I told you, I'm not one of those dirty guys!"  
"Then..."  
"I found you."

"I work in a big resturant, and I was throwing some garbage in our garbage containers when I saw you laying in one of them, so i brough you here and... yeah..."  
So...! This man had saved him! Oh, fuck... He had slapped the man who had saved him?! And called him...!? ...But... How could he be sure? What if he was lying?!  
"How can I trust you?!"  
"...See my clothes? It's our witress outfit. Or, if I wanted to rape you, I would have done that quite a while back." Sasori blushed slightly at the sentence.  
Hmm... Maybe he was telling the thuth after all. So Deidara decided to trust him.  
"I'll trust you."  
"That sounds good."  
Deidara layed there in Sasoris arms and waited for something to happend. He didn't know what to do... or where to go...He just looked out through the rooms window. It was night and dark. Only the little lamp on the beside table was giving light...  
Then Sasori spoke.  
"Do you live here in Tokyo?"  
Tokyo? Deidara had never heard of such a thing...  
"What's Tokyo?"  
"Aah... Tokyo is the name of this city."  
"Oh..."  
"Were do you come from?"  
Deidara tryed to remember, but he... couldn't...?  
"I don't remember, un..."  
"What?"  
"I promise... My memories are all wiped out!"  
"...Do you have a family?"  
"I don't remember"  
"Do you remember you name?"  
"Yes"  
"Do you know how you ended up in that dark house?"  
"actually... No."  
"Oh crap..."  
"W-what should I do!?"  
Sasori thought for a while. So she didn't remember anything but the raping story... That meant she was homeless. And that was awful. He couldn't allow her to just walk around the streets without food or home! Never!...  
Then he got an idea!  
"You could live here!"  
Deidara turned his head to the man, eyes wide, wearing a questioning look.  
Then he turned back and an emoitionless face was weared.  
"...Wouldn't it be easier to just let me die on the streets...?"  
"What are you saying?! I can't do that! I don't have heart enough!"

"So... Would you like to stay here?"  
Deidara looked up at the man.  
"I don't want to interrupt your life."  
"You wont. You'll be a part of my life."  
Deidaras eyes widened. A happy feeling reached him whe he heard the words.  
"What about your roommate, un?"  
Sasori chuckled and said with a calm tone:  
"You don't know him. He wont care at all. The fact is, I think he'll be overjoyed..."  
"Really?"  
"Yes! You'll be part of our little 'family', ok?"  
"I dont know..."  
Yet he wanted to... be part of this family.

Their little talking time ended when they heard a door slam. They heard a few running steps 'til there was a silver haired man standing in front of the rooms door.  
"I-is that her?!",he said with wide, energyful eyes.  
Sasori stared at his friend for a while, 'til he nodded.  
Hidan tryed to catch his breath as he looked at their little 'guest'.  
"Wow, she's fucking hot!"

A confused and disgusted look was given to Hidan from the blonde.  
Deidara started to feel bad. There seemed like a few things were wrong. One: They thought he was a 'she'... Two: He called him hot!? Three:...They acted like they had been waiting for him! The silver haired man had said: 'Is that her?', so that meant that they had been waiting for him right?!

Sasori looked a little confused at Hidans words but that changed when the 'girl' escaped the warm hug and looked at him with a dissapointed look. Oh shit... It's all Hidans fault!  
"Hidan-!",sasori tryed.  
"And you're already hitting on her?"  
Hidan you idiot...!  
"I didn't-"  
"Holy crap, that's fast even for you..."  
Deidara froze. 'That's fast even for you'?! Oh Deidara you're such a fool... How could he have been so naive?! Why? Why had he trusted him?!  
"You're such a jackass!",he yelled to the red head.  
"No! Wait I-"  
"I knew it! You're one of those-"  
Hidan interrupted.  
"Ey, lady, I'm just joking! Sasori isn't that kind of person."  
With a confused look and a small noice, Deidara turned his head from the red head to the purple eyed man.  
"Joking?"  
Hidan smiled, and looked at Sasori who gave a irritated look to Hidan and said:  
"Yeah. That's just the person Hidan is, so forget what he said! I told you to trust me!"  
Deidara nodded a little, he was to confused to say anything.  
Sasori continued to speak to Hidan.  
"Hidan, this girl is going to stay here, ok?"  
"What? Why?"  
Sasori rolled his eyes.  
"I dont know... Maybe coz I just randomly found her out on the streets and she doesn't remember were she comes from?"  
Hidan roze a brow.  
"She doesn't?"  
"No"  
"I see..."  
"And she's been through a lot so be nice to her, got it?"  
"...? What have she been trough?"  
Sasori looked at Hidan with unsure eyes. Then he turned his head to glanse at the 'girl'.  
'She' looked down and nodded. Then Sasori said:  
"She's been raped..."  
"Holy Jashin!"  
"Shut up, baka! I'm fucking serious!"  
"I-i'm sorry..." Hidan looked pitifully at the blonde.  
"So... You okay with it?"  
"What?"  
"That she stays here?"

Deidaras eyes met Hidans for a second. They looked so questioning. What if he would say no? Ooh...  
"...Of course I am! That would be so fucking cool!"  
Deidara felt creepy inside. What was he feeling? It was tickeling and playing. Sasori smiled at Hidan and watched him walk towards the bed. He sat down and looked at the sad blonde.  
"Hey, blondie?"  
Deidara looked up.  
"Welcome to the family."  
Deidara watched the hand that Hidan was holding in front of him. He raised his own hand and took Hidans. All the words that Hidan was saying right now was so warm and comforting. It made him so happy inside. Happy! Could it be...? These people really cared about him...?  
"I'm Hidan, and the red haired guy over there is Sasori."  
Hidan smiled and gained another disturbed look from Sasori when he used the words 'red haired guy'.  
Deidara shook hands with Hidan and felt more and more happiness running through his body.  
"I-I'm Deidara..."  
Hidan and Sasori looked at each other, then back at Deidara.  
"Deidara?" Sasori said in a confused way.  
"Isn't that a boys name?" Hidan continued.  
Deidara tilted his head and let go of Hidans hand.  
"Yes it is, un...?"  
Hidan shook his head and laughted.  
"That's cool! Anyways, I hope you can find our little home pleasant."  
Sasori smiled at Deidara and took his turn to shake 'her' hand.  
"I'm glad I saved you, Deidara."  
Sasori let go of Deidaras hand and they all just sat there.  
Deidara looked at the two smiling men with wide eyes.  
Then the happiness reached his heart and his whole body felt a warm and nice feelning when he started to cry again, but this time he cryed beacause he was happy. He felt good.  
These people did care about him. Finally someone...

He sobbed and suddenly wrapped his arms around both Sasori and Hidan as he laughted and said:  
"What would I have done if you guys didn't exist?"  
Sasori smiled and Hidan chuckled and answered.  
"You wouldn't even be here, dumbass!"  
Sasori hitted him and smiled.  
"Be nice to your friends!"  
"Ouch!"  
Deidara laughted and let go of the two men.  
"Thanks for rescuing me, Sasori, un."  
"You would have done the same fo-"  
"Who wouldn't have rescued such a beautiful creature like you?!",Hidan laughted.  
"You can't imagine how happy I am, un..."  
Sasori gave Deidara a happy look and hugged the blonde back.  
"I promise to you! We'll take good care of you and protect you. You're a part of our life now. Right, Hidan?"  
"You fucking bet!"

_Deidara,_  
_I'll take care of you, until you remember who you really are._

_Don't cry sweetheart._  
_Wipe away your tears._  
_I love you, I know that, 'cause I always want you to be happy._  
_So don't cry anymore._  
_I can't bear to see you cry..._  
_When I see you, the always cutest you._  
_We'll never break apart._  
_I promise._


	2. My new world

_Unwanted flower Chrapter 2_

My new world

_I was so lost. I was walking in the nowhere, in the anywere and everywere._

_I was so alone, so empty and unnoticed._

_I was Gone, left and nothing._

_I saw you, you, the only thing I could see._

_You was a something, just like me. I was nothing and so was you._

_You and me was the same thing and you and me was about to become 'we'._

_I look out through the window. Tokyo is a nice city, and big too. I feel so odd... Hey, I was laying in a garbage container about one hour ago. And now, I'm sitting on this bed with Sasori and Hidan. I really like them and they are going to mean much to me from now on. I never thought someone would actually care to save me. I listen as Sasori and Hidan tell me a little about themselves. Hidan seemed to be an usual 23 years old mangaka... And Sasori worked as witress in the biggest reaturant in Tokyo, and is 24 years old... Sasori stops talking and smiles at me. I can't really smile back, I'm not that happy.. But yet managaed to make a little little unnoticed movement with my lips. Hmm..._

"Now, Deidara, You maybe want to take a look around?"

Hidan threw a glare at the smiling Sasori and hit his red haired head.

"Baka! She just fucking came here and you want her to stand up and walk around just like that?"

Deidara sighed.

"Thanks for your understanding, Hidan... I'm really tired and I feel... Screwed up"

Sasori blushed and pushed Hidan away from himself, then looked down.

"Gomenasai..."

Hidan put his hand on Deidara's leg.

"You just sleep here on Sasori's bed-"

Deidara shook his head.

"Never! I wont sleep in a bed!"

Hidan rose a brow, but understood. Sleeping in a bed would bring back bad memories.

"So you prefer to sleep on a matress on the floor?"

Deidara nodded.

Sasori stood and walked out of the room, yelling.

"Were did you put that soft matress from before?"

Hidan aswered.

"It's under my bed!"

"Ok!"

Deidara still didn't know if this whole 'him living in a stranger's house' thing would end up nice. But right now the sound of 'sleep' made him want to stop worrying about such things and just turn off the lights. Sasori returned with a matress and held it in a firm grip.

"Were do you want to sleep?"

Deidara thought for a while. He didn't know how the home looked like. The only place he was familiar to, was this room.

"I'm okay anywhere"

Sasori nodded and put the matress down and started to dress it. While he was doing so, Hidan took Deidara's attention.

"Don't worry too much okay? Feel free to ask about anything and-"

Hidan suddenly noticed Deidara's eyelids were about to close for the day. He smiled and stopped talking, putting Deidara down on the bed and watching him fall asleep.

Sasori rose his brow and looked at Hidan when he saw Deidara asleep on the bed. Hidan smiled at Sasori as answer and watched as he putted Deidara down in the bed.

Afterwards Sasori and Hidan walked out of the room, turning the lights off and almost closing the door. Sasori rested against the wall and Hidan was next to him.

Sasori sighed deeply, looking at Hidan.

"Wow... Sure they say something new happends you eveyday... But this?"

Hidan smirked and looked up.

"Hm. Poor thing..."

"...What if no one had found her? Shit, I just can't think of that!"

"Fuck yeah... But are you sure she's telling the truth?"

Sasori had a short pause before answering.

"Hai."

"Then I'll trust her too..."

"...I think she'll twist around our lifes good..."

"Maybe so" Hidan smiled "She seems nice"

Sasori closed his eyes and folded his arms.

"Yepp"

Ohh had Deidara ever felt this good? It was so warm, so comfy, so soft - everything was soo perfect! He felt like a little peguin baby gaining warmth from his dad. Mhmm...

He slowly opened his eyes when he heard the birds outside twitter their songs, and the wind blowing throught the window, touching his face. He keeped his eyes half lidded. He was so damn tired, and he felt a big pain in his body. His ass hurted the most but his legs were tired too, he had been walking alot. He snuggled into the covers and closed his eyes.

He tryed to clear his mind...

First he had been raped.

Then he had turned totallly Emo and faded away.

Then some random guy rescued him and told him he cared for him...

Then he had faded away again. Or more likely fallen asleep.

And.. Well, now he was here.

Was he really going to stay here? Hm, Red-head told him that he cared. So did Hidan. So maybe he should stay here. Just until he found out about his past. That would work. Then it's decided. It wouldn't be bad, right? They were both nice! He had to thank them in a great way someday. Thank you...

He stopped to think about those things and turned around to his other side, eyes half closed, he started to 'hmm' on a random little melody. It sounded sad...

Hidan heard the song and rose his brows. He was sitting on Sasori's bed, drawing on a few works... He putted his things away and sat down next to Deidara, lowering his head to Deidara's.

"See, you're awake"

Deidara opened his eyes immediately and stopped his humming. He was about to scream when his mind remembered him that Hidan was his roommate from now on. And you're not scared of your roomamtes! In case theire some alien freaks or such...

"G-g-good morning, Hidan-san..."

"Did I scare you?"

"N-no, I just forgot about yesterday..."

Hidan chuckled and shut his eyes in a smile.

"Nice start"

Deidara smiled and yawned.

"Mm... Where's ... umm..."

"Sasori?"

"Un..."

"At work. He'll be back late... nine or something"

"O-okay"

Suddenly they heard a creepy sound, coming from Deidara's stomach.

Deidara looked at his stomach with a confused look, then he turned to Hidan, who was grinning. Why the hell was his gut sounding like a flush failing toilet?

"Seems like someone's hungry," Hidan smirked "follow to the kithen, I'll-"

"Hungry?"

Hidan rose a brow.

"What? Aren't you hungry?"

"Hm? What does hungry mean?"

What'te... Didn't she know what hungry meant? Sheesh, she must be joking coz- Wait a minute... She had forgotten a few things right? Oh, so that's why. Ouch.

"Hmm... You can't remember?"

Deidara shook his head as Hidan explained.

"Do you feel that little odd feeling in your tummy?"

Deidara nodded.

"It's a twisting and dry feeling, right? And It doesn't feel all that good?"

"Un"

"That means you're hungry. And to get rid of that feeling, you got to eat something"

"O-okay?"

"You do know how to eat, do you?"

"..." Deidara blushed as Hidan sighed.

"Gosh... Come with me and I'll show you"

Hidan took Deidara to the Kithen. It was a nice, orange/blue/wooden and cute open kithen. With chibi kitten magnets on the refrigerator, the cupboards were made by brown wood and the upper parts of the cupboards were orange. The walls around the sink were light pink tile and the floor was wood. Deidara sat down in front of the table and watched as Hidan opened the frigde. He put two boxes in front of him. On the other it said 'Milk' and on the other big one 'Choko flakes'... What'te fuck...?

A bowl and a spoon was placed in front of him too, and then Hidan sat down next to him. He poured the good smelling choko balls into the bowl and filled it with milk. He gave the spoon to Deidara and coughed in an embaressed way.

"Just fill the spoon and put it in your mouth..."

Deidara looked confused and wanted Hidan to explain a bit more.

Hidan sighed and took the spoon.

He put it in the ceereals and took it out, holding it in front of Deidara's mouth. He flushed...

"Say a fucking -aaaaah"

"?... Aaaaaa"

And the spoon was put in Deidara's mouth. To be honest, Hidan felt like he was feeding a little baby... And that's just fucking embaressing!

Deidara closed his mouth to prevent anyhting to run out. He just keept it in his mouth, loving the taste of the sweet chocolate.

"Whtshddnw?" That was supposed to sound more like 'What should I do now?' but it failed a bit...

"Oh, make your jaw move up and down, so that the food will be crunched, and then, swallow"

Deidara followed the instruktions but stopped when it came to the swallowing part.

He rose his brows and poked Hidan's shoulder.

Hidan was interrupted in his thoughts and looked at the blonde.

"Ahh... what?"

Deidara pointed at his mouth and mumbled a little 'swallow'.

"Oh, Well... Just make the food slip down your throat"

Deidara's eyes narrowed. Slip down his throat?

Deidara shook his head.

"I know it sounds odd, but if you wont do it, you can't remove the hunger"

Aw. Too bad for him. So, Shutting his eyes and concentrating his mind, he tryed to do as Hidan had told him. And actually it was easier than he had thought! And it felt good, in some odd way...

"That's so cool, un!"

Hidan laughted.

"I guess it must be, the fucking first time"

"May I eat more?"

Hidan smirked and gave Deidara the spoon.

"Eat as much as you can"

Hidan stood up to leave but was stopped by Deidara dragging his T-shirt.

"You're not going to leave me, are you...?"

"...Not if you don't want me to"

"Thank you, Hidan-san"

Hidan blushed and sat down.

"Y-you're welcome"

So Hidan sat there and watched as Deidara poured down the food like if he had never ate anything before. And gosh, she ate much for a girl... And table manner didn't seem to mean anything to her either...

After a while Deidara was done and thanked Hidan for the food. Hidan smiled and started to wash the bowl as he talked.

"But just remeber this one thing: before you start your meal, you got to thank for the food. Not only after. Add 'Itadakimasu' to the start. Always"

Deidara tilted his head, but nodded.

"Hidan, I like food"

"Who doesn't"

"It's funny! It just dissappears in your body when you eat it, un!"

...

Now that wasn't really true, was it...?

HOLY JASHIN! He was not going to teach someone how to use the toilet! That's just too much!

In the end, Hidan didn't have to show Deidara how to use a toilet. It seemed like Deidara remembered how to use toilets, take baths or wash hands and such. And when they found out, Hidan had gave a deep sigh in relief, that in turn confused Deidara... Deciding now was a good time to show the blonde around, Hidan took Deidara's hand and dragged him to his own room. His room was pretty un decored, but calm.

Actually Deidara really liked Hidan's room. It was so soothing, in a way... The walls were deep blue and the roof was also blue. A white bed was in the corner, with a window next to it. the other corner seemed to be Hidan's working station. It was exploded with papers and pens in all forms. The table was light blue and the chair was red. And next to it, on the floor, was a drawing holder*. Then Deidara observed another thing. one of the walls were covered with anime posters. He stepped in and walked towards that wall. One piece? Nana? Gravitation? Hetalia? What did all these things mean?

"Hidan?"

"Yes?"

"What's all this?"

Hidan looked at the posters that Deidara was pointing at. How would he explain this...?

"Weell... Let me show you"

Hidan walked over to his cupboard and took one of the mangas on there. But he had to put it back when he noticed it was hentai. Instead he took one of his Nana books. He signed to Deidara to come sit next to him on the bed. And Deidara did so. Hidan opened the book and held it in front of Deidara.

"Know what this is?"

"Un. A book, I can remember," Deidara tilted his head, "But that book is made of only pictures"

"It's got text in it too, but yeah, It's called Manga. Now, when you see these things on TV it's called anime, ok?"

"Ok"

"And see that poster over there?" Hidan pointed at one of the Nana posters and Deidara looked at it, nodding.

"It's a picture of the charakters in this book"

Deidara looked at the book, then the poster. He repeated the action a few times until he smiled.

"I see! ...I like the one with brown hair, un, she looks nice"

"She's kinda idiotic... But her name is Nana"

"Like the book?"

"Yep"

"Then, what's her name?"

Deidara pointed at the other girl with dark hair and punk clothes.

"Her name is Nana too"

"So everyone in manga are named Nana?"

"N-no, for example, this guy here is named Nobu," Hidan pointed at the charakters "And this is shin"

"I see"

Hidan walked off the bed, putting the manga back to his Manga bookshelf and waved at Deidara.

"Come on, I'll show you the 'living room' too"

"Okay"

They walked over to the living room and Hidan pointed at the TV, explaining that they usually callled this room the 'TV room'.

"Why so, un?"

"Well, some weekends me and Sasori go buy tons of snacks and just spend our time in front of that thing. It's the best part of the week, it usually gets comfy and..."

"It sounds nice"

The living room was just in front of the open kithen. That made it easy to bring any meal and eat it on the couch. (Wich Hidan usually did) And the TV was plastma. In front of it was the soft couch. The floor had a soft, red, nice rug on it and all of the corners of the room were covered with pillows in different colors. Actually the whole room was exploded with cushions in warm colors. There was also a door to the balcony.

"Now there's just Sasori's room left" (discounting the toilet)

Sasori's room was really pretty. The walls were hawaiian red and the roof was white. His bed was in the corner of the room, under the big window.

A wooden wardrobe was in the room too and the window next to the bed was open. Next to the bed was a night stand table and behind the bed was a workdesk with a computer on it.

They went out to the 'TV room'.

"Well I guess that's it"

Deidara tilted his head a little. Hidan stared at him in a confused way.

"...Hey..."

"Hm?"

"No, nothing"

Silence.

"What do we do now, un?"

Hidan shook his head. Deidara had a point there. What would they do while waiting for dear ? Hm, It was 14:23 and about 6 hours left till Sasori was back.

"We could...",damn why did he say anything when he was clueless?,"Uuhh..."

"What's this?"

Hidan broke his eye contact with the ceiling and looked at Deidara.'She' was standing next to the bookshelf in the livingroom, holding a book. He stepped toward the blonde and took the book.

"Cooking book"

Probably one of Sasori's old books. When they had just moved in and Sasori didn't have a single cooking skill point. Not like Hidan could cook either, but...

They stared down at the book, until Deidara tilted his head a little and rose one of his blonde brows...

"Cooking book? What's that kind of book about..?"

"Well it contains loads of recipies."

"Uun?"

Hidan sighed.

"It tells you how to cook diferrent kind of fucking meals"

"Ah, Souka!"

Hidan didn't really get why Deidara suddenly growed so enthusiastic but he was soon about to find out.

"Hidan-san!" Deidara said and took the book, opening it and looking at the pictures",this looks delicious, un, we could cook some!"

Hidan looked at the picture of the yummy looking California roll, so shining and nicely made... (Shining?)

But he didn't know if it would be the best idea ever to make those thing, it seemed kind of hard...

But on the other side, It looked DELICIOUS and YUMMY. Mmm what if those things belonged to him..? Ahh yeah recently he had been eating at Burger king alot. So why not?

"Okay, that seemes like a fucking great idea, blondie. But do you know how to cook?"

Deidara looked a little annoyed at the words blondie but didn't say anything. But hey, did he know how to cook? Actually he did, and he thought it would be a great start of a 'new life' by cooking a great, big meal.

"Uun... Think so, you follow the instructions here, and I'll listen to you..."

"Hm. Okay then! Lezzgooo"

And Hidan runned in Sonic speed to the kithen, Deidara slowly walking after him.

"Sasori!"

"Y-yes, sir?"

Sasori looked at his boss, a strict but kind orange haired man with grey/white killing eyes, he was sitting in the boss's room and waiting for the him to talk. At the morning when he had arrived, Pain had told him he wanted to have a little 'talk' with him.

"You seem very distracted today...?"

He knew the boss wasn't all too happy about Sasori leaving work just like that yesterday.

"W-well I-"

"You don't need to be nervous, I know you have a good reason, you've never ever left work before",the orange haired said calmly.

"Hai"

And it didn't help much that the boss had the scariest name ever. Pain.

"Now, why did you leave yesterday?"

"Sir, you wont belive me..."

"Tell me"

"Well... I was about to throw the garbage out. In those containers and... I found something really creepy-"

"Don't tell me you found that damn cat there again, 'cuse if so, you can asure yourself that I will not-"

"No, no! It was a human there!"

"I beg you pardon...?"

"I promise! The beautifullest girl ever! And well, I couldn't leave her there now could I?"

"But Sasori-san, that's not a reason to just leave work!"

"Are you out of your mind! She was unconsciousness!"

"Then you could have brought her here!"

"SHE NEEDED SOMEWERE TO REST!"

"DON'T YOU YELL AT ME YOUNG MAN!"

"You're not my mom!"

"No, I'm you're boss and you will listen to me!"

"NO WAY I-"

They were suddenly interrupted by a thin young looking man peeking into the room.

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"

They both sighed and Pain shooed him off with his hand, and the man left in silence.

"Sasori..."

"She's been raped"

Pains eyes narrowed and he suddenly felt very embaressed.

"Ah, why didn't tell me that in the first place?..."

Sasori looked down. Why would he? He just felt like he wanted to vomit when he thought about it. But the happiness he had seen in Deidara's eyes when he had told her that she could stay, and that he wanted to take care of her... That happiness was something he could feel the whole night. An everlasting happiness. Eternal and beautiful. The girl herself was very special too...

"I'm sorry, I just feel so sorry about her."

"It's okay, Sasori, you're a kind hearted man.. I've known you for a long time. You did the right thing."

Sasori smiled and nodded.

"Thank you"

"You know what? You may go home earlier today. What about six o' clock? I'm sure you want to go see how she is. If i'm rright Hidan should be with her now?"

"Yes he is, and thank you very much!"

"You're welcome. But Sasori... Don't you think you should tell the police..?"

"No!"

"Your decision"

Sasori stared at his boss with a serious look on his face. Pain sighed.

"Okay, back to work"

Sasori stood up to leave, when he was just about to close the door, he heard Pain's voice;

"Take good care of her"

"Dei, I think you should put the nori on the rice and roll...?"

"Are you asking me?"

"...I'm fucking hungry..."

Hidan and Deidara looked down at their work. It looked kinda good, the only fail was... It didn't shine as much as on the picture... Much to Hidan's dissapointment.

While they were cooking, Hidan noticed something odd about Deidara. She had recovered so fast! He had never thought someone could accept something this fast. She had been raped after all, and used as a sex toy... Yet she had the power to smile, talk, walk... Hidan was very happy that she had accepted when they asked if she wanted to move in. Or, that wasn't really something she could have choosen. If she had said no, she would been living on the streets right now. Or in some sex club. Eugh. That's fucking bad thoughts.

"So, Dei, How are you feeling?"

And he had started to call her 'Dei'. It was really cute, if you asked him, and it fitted. Coz... Well, Hidan thought Deidara was incredibly cute...

"How I am feeling?"

"Yeah, I mean, You weren't in the best mood yesterday... I'm just asking if you're feeling any better..."

Hidan started to roll the rice around the nori while listening to his answer.

"Oh, Well I feel much better, thanks to you. You know... Being with you really makes me happy in some way. You've got such a positive energy..."

Hidan blushed a little at this comment and smiled at the blonde.

"Thanks, dude!"

The word 'dude' reminded Deidara about his gender. Oh, shit! He hadn't told Hidan or Sasori yet! They both thought he was a girl. Eww... And he was going to live here for a while. So they had to know.

"Err... Hidan-san, I got to tell you something, un"

Hidan stopped his movements when he heard the serious tone in Deidara's voice.

"What is it!"

"N-Neeh, It-"

"What? Tell me it's okay, I'll fix it!"

Okay, so Hidan was kind of odd, but Deidara had never thought he would be like this...

"Weeell..."

Suddenly a creepy sounding sound came from Hidan's pocket.

'Jashin-sama ruuuules, yeah!'

Deidara just stared at Hidan with rosen brows and open jaw. What the fuck was that?

Hidan laughted at Deidara expression and picked up his mobile from his pocket.

"Sorry, that's how it s-sounds w-when I get messages! Pfft, man, you should have seen your fucking face! Y-you looked like you'd seen a fuckin' banana in my head!" Hidan said between laughts.

"Eto...? Message? How?"

Hidan inwardly face palmed. Why did he always forget that Deidara didn't know these kind of things...?

"Look"

He held the mobile in front of Deidara and showed the message.

"See?"

Deidara saw a small, black little thing with... a screen on it.

He read the message.

'Just sayin I'll be back earlier today! How's Deidara? Is she fine? You've taken care of her right? RIGHT? Im WORRIED!'

Hidan grinned and patted Deidara's back.

"Looks like someone really cares about you Deidara!" He chuckled.

Deidara remeber how he and Sasori had met. And how Sasori never gave up on Deidara when he was acting emo and all...

Hidan told Deidara to write back to Sasori so that he would stop worrying. He showed 'her' how to write and 'she' succeeded.

'Don't worry, Sasori-san, I'm fine, Hidan is nice to me. We're waiting for you, un!'

When Sasori recived the message, a warm smile was put on his face. No one had the slightest idea of how much that girl meant to him. For some reason he felt some sort of special bond between them...

"Sasori! Come on, help me with these damn customers! What kind of witres are you?"

Sasori looked up from his mobile and stood up from the chair he was sitting on.

"Sorry Itachi, be right there!"

_I can't express in words how much you mean to me._

_No, I really cannot show what I'm feeling for you._

_Not only because I can't. _

_More cause I don't know what Im feeling._

_Do you know?_

_Cause I've got a feeling you're feeling the same._

_And that's nice... cause..._

_I think I want to chare something with you._

_I just don't know what...?_


	3. I hide my dreams

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, owner of Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden!

Warnings: Sasori IS SUPPOSED TO BE OOC in this fanfiction, and don't let it disturb you too much, IT IS GOING TO CHANGE, sooner or later.

Author's Note: I can't believe I'm actually going to be a good person and update... I really hope you're going to like it the upcoming new chapters. Sorry about how terrible the two first chapters are, haha.

The cursive writing in the end and beginning are not only Deidara's thoughts, they're small poems. Sometimes they reflect Deidara's feelings and thoughts, sometimes they reflect people's feelings towards each other...

* * *

_Unwanted flower Chapter 3_  
I hide my dreams

_Everyone go through a period in their life when they try to find themselves  
Right?  
Thinking like that, I'm trying to feel less lonely.  
Then again... Maybe I am not. Maybe I am not lonely.  
Maybe I'm just alone?  
Right?_

Hello?

"Hidan, un..."  
A sigh.  
"Yes...?"

"How long do we have to wait?"  
"... I fucking told you, there's one hour left."  
"What's one hour, Hidan, un?"

"dfgdsgfsfdgsd."

_Hidan and I finally managed to cook something nice up. It was nice how time went by so incredibly fast by just the two of us standing in the same room, doing practically the same things over and over again. Cutting vegetables, boiling water, pouring in the ingredients... Maybe tasting a little bit...  
It was so weird, because last time I remember myself being in one room, doing the same stuff over and over again, it felt like an eternity. Hmm...  
But I've been thinking about it. And I've asked myself, just because it sounds the same, it doesn't have to look the same, right?  
The more I think, the less sense things make, though. And as far as I know, that's not how it's supposed to work._

Anyways, currently I'm busy waiting for Sasori. After helping Hidan set the table and put all of the food that we made on the table, there was just pure waiting left. And honestly, it was getting to me, a bit... Especially since Hidan kept giving me really weird answers when I asked when Sasori would be back. I mean, what the hell is one hour!? It's really frustrating not knowing things that seem obvious to Hidan.  
But no matter how much I try to remember, things seem so blurred out.  
My mind feels so messed up.  
I wish I knew things. Like how that clock worked. Or what Tokyo... This thing called city, actually was. What was a manga? A book, yes, but as I remember it, books were built up on text, not pictures!  
All this food, eating... How was it even possible? It seemed so damn weird to him.  
And sending messages to people using this little square, box thing with a screen on it...  
I just wish I knew about it as much as Hidan do.  
I'm just as old as him. Sliiighly shorter, but hey we're the same age,(I think?) the same maturity(I guess?)...

But Deidara felt like he was much younger and much more passive...

With Sasori, he felt different though. He didn't know why. But there was something about that man that made him feel so very calm and safe. Whether it was those warm, charming smiles, or that soft caring voice...

I don't know what it is but he does something to make me feel much better.  
Almost like he understands me.  
And feels the same pain I feel.  
For real.

"Hidan..."

Said man felt his right eye twitch slightly, hearing the blonde say his name once again... Holy Jashin, he did understand she was curious and stuff. And a bit... Well, in a lack of knowledge and memory. Complicated stuff like that.  
But could she not be a little bit more patient!? No? What the heck!?  
Bullshit, she was seriously worse than Sasori himself. And he was the most impatient person Hidan knew. He was _known_ for being impatient. Still, after knowing Deidara for one day and a half, she had found a new level of impatience. Really.

"What is it now?"

Frowning a bit, he turned to look at the girl(NOT REALLY, NO.) sitting next to himself.  
The table in front of them was set nicely, with the plates put on the table with chopsticks beside them. Hidan was not really a master when it came to origami. He knew Sasori's boss's wife was really good... What was her name... Err... Meh, Hidan didn't know. But Hidan had seen the bluehaired woman create beautiful, flawless creatures, flowers and such out of paper. When she and Pain came here for dinner and stuff. She was really good.

But he knew how to make simple, cute origami fishes! And that's what he and Deidara had made, out of napkins. Cute goldfishes...  
They had put them on the plates. Each plate had a nice glass of water put beside them.

There was a whole lot of food, that's for sure! California rolls; lots of sushi. Not too hard to make, and delicious! That, along with miso soup, Yakisoba(fried noodles and meat and vegetables), potato salad, Ika-geso-age(deep fried squid tentacles) and for dessert; Anpan!(uh, Japanese sweet rolls? Usually red bead paste filled.)

Everything was put on the table very neatly. And there was even a candle in the middle of everything.  
Hidan really loved seeing such a sight. It had been way too long since he and Sasori had ate a normal, nice dinner together. Way too long.  
And now they were three. Hidan could barely believe it.

They had had to go get an extra chair from Hidan's room to put by the kitchen table.  
Holy fuckery.

He was personally a very spontaneous and impulsive person, but he was still shocked. Letting another person live with them, all of a sudden? Share a life with them?

It wasn't like Deidara was hiring a room. She was starting a new life here. After forgetting everything about her past and stuff... This probably felt like the begging of her life. And it was nice how they were starting it all off with a dinner like this.  
She seemed to be quite comfortable in the house and stuff. But since there were many things she had forgotten; How things worked, what they were called... How you did stuff...  
She seemed a bit unsure about things. Like she was afraid. Afraid of doing the wrong thing...

Hidan knew what had happened to Deidara, but still he couldn't find himself pitying her anymore.  
She was so fucking strong. So _fucking_ strong. Being able to let it slip. Without therapy! Ahaha...  
No but really, a regular person wouldn't get raped and act like everything was fine and normal, the day after. Okay, two days after. It was crazy.

"Is one hour a lot of time, un?"

Those un's and hmm's... Speech-habit?  
"One hour is... Well that depends on..."  
The Jashinist sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. She was not... Annoying him, with all this asking and stuff. In fact, it was kind of cute.  
Not like her voice was all that cute, actually is seemed a bit too... Husky to even be a woman's voice. But maybe something had happened to it. Who else what more than rape Deidara had faced? Maybe she had been tortured too? Just couldn't remember? Huh?  
Anyways, it wasn't like her voice was ugly.

Actually, Hidan found it incredibly attractive. It was smooth and rather sexy.  
Just... Broken.

E-eh!? WHAT THE HELL HIDAN, JUST WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!  
_JUST NOW._

WHAT. WAS. THAT. THOUGHT.

Whaaaaaaaaat...

She had been raped and stuff, and here Hidan was sitting thinking of how sexy and attractive her voice was?  
And the rest of her, of course...

She would be more attractive if she took a bath tho-

_AAAAAAAH DIRTY, HORRIBLE MIND._

He had seriously read too much Hentai...

And Yaoi. And Yuri.

Hidan had looots of them...

Looooooooots...

"Depends on what, Hidan?"

"Look,"

Finally, Hidan just put a hand on her shoulder, looking at her with a tired look. "Time would go a lot faster if we did something while we wait, but you know... I'm really tired after this, so I can't really keep you entertained, Dei, sorry. Why don't you walk around and do something?"

H-huh!? Hidan no baka... He wasn't a kid! There were things he didn't know, and he did feel rather passive, BUT HE WASN'T DUMB!

Looking at the hand put on his shoulder, Deidara sighed a bit, "But Hidan..."

Just as Hidan was about to suggest playing video games, he... He... No. No, he was not suggesting that. Besides, it would probably take an eternity to learn her how to play and use a joystick, remotes and so on... Buttons, and crap like that. So no.

Hidan knew. He knew what situation Deidara was put in right now.  
But he simply was a bit selfish, and didn't feel like learning Deidara all of those things at the moment. Took way too much energy, fuck it...

But then he had an much better idea!  
If you could call it that...

"Hey! I know what you really should do!"

"Hmm? What?"

"Take a bath!"

"A-a bath? But..."

A bath...  
Deidara thought a bit. With water pouring all over him, hitting him in the face.  
Relaxing all his tense muscles in warm, clean water.  
Some time for himself.

Why not?

Didn't seem so bad.

But he was scared.

He was scared of being alone. Because when he was alone, he had to think.  
Or now. When they were waiting. He was impatient, because the silence was letting him THINK.  
Sure, there was background music coming from the speakers in the living room.  
But still. He could think.

And in his thoughts his only memories hunted him;  
The scary faces, the lusty eyes, the dirty room, the fat, dirty man, all of the semen...  
The whip, the knife, the apple, the ice, the stick, the dildo, the money, the blindfold, the handcuffs, the water, the scissor, the hands.

Those filthy, cold, disgusting hands. His hands.  
Everywhere. Everywhere they should not be...

Deidara guessed that the only reason he could smile at the moment, was because he let Hidan occupy his mind. Keep it too busy to think of anything else.  
Let the memories of yesterdays happiness win over the sorrowful ones of the day he got sexually harassed.

Yesterday... The happiness he had felt when he got to know Sasori and Hidan would take care of him. And let him have a home. Right here. A new life and a new... Family... It might sound very stupid and silly, but 'family' to Deidara, meant the closest people you know. And he was very willing to make Hidan and Sasori his very own 'family'.

Or more like, join Sasori and Hidan's.  
He still felt like he was disturbing them. And rudely jumping into their lives. But he had decided to trust Sasori and Hidan as they said that Deidara wasn't doing that, and that he was no problem for the two. That they'd gladly accept him. Just the way he came.

"Huh? You did say you remember how to take showers and stuff, right?" Or was he wrong? No, he couldn't be...

"A-ah, hai... But I..."

"Besides... No offense, but you don't smell too good, ahaha," Chuckling a bit, Hidan made and awkward smile, scratching the back of his head, "And your hair isn't in the best fucking state either. I'll help you comb it later, if you'd like that! Also you need to wash off all that dirt on your face! And that tired, confused look, okay? _Wash it all off._ I'm sure you'll feel damn better afterwards. Okay?"

...

The blue eyes were stuck on Hidan for a little while, before gazing down.  
He had to change.  
And wash everything off.  
Become clean.  
Because he didn't want to be dirty when he was going to join Sasori and Hidan.

"Un."

"Great then, let's go get you a towel."

Nodding, Deidara stood, walking after the slightly smiling Jashinist, to the bathroom.  
Hidan looked around for any towels lying around randomly...  
"Let's see... Ah," He brought out a really big, red, soft bath towel, folding it(the best Hidan could... before giving it to the blonde. "There you go. I think Sasori bought that a few years ago. But apparantly it was too big and 'unpractical', so he bought a new one... Weirdo..."

Giggling a bit, Deidara gladly took Sasori's... Ex-towel, and put it on the washing machine, which was placed in the end of the cozy bathroom. Deidara really liked the bathroom, it had a chill, relaxed and very cozy atmosphere too it. Felt like home. It felt soft. And... Yeah...

"Let's see... We don't have any girls shampoo stuff but I think I accidentally bought a shampoo with the smell of... I think it was watermelons..." Mumbling a few things as he was in thought, Deidara just stared at the other with risen brows, and was about to say something about his GENDER, but; "Wait here, I think it's somewhere in my wardrobe."

With that, Hidan was off, and Deidara was left alone in the bathroom, wondering WHEN THE HECK HIDAN WAS GOING TO LET HIM TELL HE WAS A GUUUY.  
A GUY.  
WITH A PENIS.  
WITH... A MANLY CHEST.  
AND... AAAAAND...

_He didn't want watermelon shampoo..._

... Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

"Okay I found it." It didn't take long for the Jashininst to return, holding a cute bottle in his hand. A bottle with little chibi ducklings on it. Deidara frowned a bit, reading the Japanese letters in his minds;  
_DUUUUCK SHAMPOOO! Watermelon~_

...

_No tears!_

... That was some sort of shampoo originally made for kids? Wasn't it?  
Sighing, Deidara smiled and took the shampoo bottle, examining it a little bit more in his hands, before listening to Hidan who had started talking again. "There should be a brush lying somewhere around. And yeah you can find soap and all that lying there with the other stuff on the bath shelve." He guessed that was it, right? What more did she need to know... Hmm... Nah, there shouldn't be- oh, right!

"Clothes... We don't have any girls clothes..." Why the fuck would they? They weren't cross-dressers. ...At least not all of the time... OKAY THEY WERE. Eeeh, nope, not really, no, sorry.

"A-actually, Hidan, un... I don't eve-"

"But hey if you just settle with a pair of tight jeans I have... And some T-shirt from Sasori... That should be fine, right? We'll go buy you some fucking clothes tomorrow, kay?"

"Uuh, y-yeah but-"

"Okay I'm sorry I'll let you have your bath, ahaha," Blushing a bit, Hidan smiled, backing out of the room. "So... Just yell if you need anything, okay?"

"... Un."

"Great, seeya later then!"

_Slam._

Blue eyes kept staring at the door just shot before him. He kept looking at it. For quite a while. Just standing there, with a shampoo bottle in his hand, trying not to think.  
As if time was still.

Eventually, Deidara found himself starting to undress. The very big T-shirt he had been wearing was taken off rather quickly. But the rest...

The heart of the blonde almost stopped, as he saw his reflection in the mirror before him. Was that... Was that him?

_That?_  
That thing? On that surface?

Deidara didn't know what it was. But he wasn't really scared, no. Just... Curious. And perhaps a bit leery. His hand slowly made its way up to gently touch the mirror, as he stared at himself.  
He wasn't clean at all.  
He was so dirty...

_**You're so fucking dirty, you cheap slut. Say it. Say you're dirty!**_

Biting his lip, he looked away from the mirror hastily, furrowing his brows.

Without knowing it, his heart had began beating faster. The dark memories were starting to hunt him down. The very, very dark memories. They were so easy to drown in... He just wished they'd leave him alone. He wasn't part of them anymore! He didn't want to think about it. About anything dark. He wanted sunshine in his life from now on. Or...

Looking down on the clothes he was wearing, he shivered slightly.

Stripper clothes.

Had Sasori found him wearing these?

At that moment, Deidara caught notice of the scissor lying on the shelf. And, once again, at that moment... Well, it was pretty obvious what he wanted to do.  
What he _had_ to do. It was the first and only thing, image, that appeared in his mind, and...

The scissor was quickly is his hand, working on tearing the horrible, colorful outfit off of him. He cut it in neat little square pieces, before putting them all on each other, creating a mountain of twinkling, red fabric.  
This was a sight that made a smile appear on his lips.

It was weak. And scared. Vulnerable.  
But it was a smile.

He shook off the weird dull feeling which had appeared inside of him while he had been shredding the clothes to pieces. If you could even call them clothes...  
Anyways, our dear Deidara grabbed the pieces with his hands and threw them straight into the trash-can. And with that done, he could finally fill the tub with warm water, before getting in.

He lied there. Staring at the ceiling.

_I hope this will really make me become a clean human-being. Or, I hope this will make me a human-being. Or at least make me feel like one. Because I don't. I don't know what I am anymore, or what I'm feeling. Everything seems so... I don't know... Far away? Out of reach?_

Everything? What is everything?

_**"Aren't you gonna scream, bitch?"**_

"No."

"Cocky, aren't we?"

Thrown to the ground and spit at.  
"I'm telling you to fucking scream. So do it."  
A foot crushing his face.  
"Still not listening, huh?"  
The pain...  
"I'll have to make you then!"

And the only sound was a laughter. A laughter, not coming from Deidara.  
Torture... So much torture.  
__

No... I don't... Want to remember that...  
I have to let it go!  
I HAVE TO IGNORE IT! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? JUST WHY DO I HAVE TO...

Why... WHY ME!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE ONE...  


Shutting his eyes in frustration, Deidara inhaled sharply, holding his head in his hands. The hot water had calmed his body down, but inside his mind, weird things were happening. As if he had a headache, but couldn't feel the pain. He just wanted to slam his head to the wall, let everything disappear from his vision. He didn't want to see or hear or feel.

He was having death-wishes.  
Suicide...

That's what it was called, right? Suicide... When you...

"Hey, Dei!"

The blonde quickly opened his eyes in shock, hearing his name. Half his name. Nickname... Hey... Didn't... Didn't you only give nicknames to the people you're close with?

And... That voice... It wasn't Hidan, no, no, Hidan's voice wasn't that happy. And he would probably had used some sort of swearing... So...

"Sasori, un?"

"Mm, hurry up and get out, I'm starving!"

He could hear it clearly. He could hear the redhead was smiling. "H-hai!"

"Great. We're waiting for you."

_  
That's right... They're waiting... I almost forgot..._

Deidara, get a grip of yourself. You're stronger than that. Aren't you?

...  


He waited. And waited. But never got an answer.  
Was he stronger than that? Or was he just trying to believe in something that was just... Pure... Fantasy?

Because no one answered him.

He didn't know anymore.

__

Deidara... You're getting there again... The dark side...  


Sighing, Deidara made a decition not to think anymore. Instead he was going to get ready. Both Sasori and Hidan were waiting.  
He was quite happy Sasori had came back from work now. And honestly, he couldn't wait to when he was done. He wanted to see him again... Both of them, but mostly Sasori.  
And this time, he wasn't going to let Hidan cut him off. He knew the Jashinist didn't mean anything, and Deidara didn't really get offened by being cut off each time. But this time, he was going to tell!

While they were eating! Or... No, okay, wait, maybe that was a bad moment? Maybe... After they had ate...?  
No... That was when they'd have to relax and let the food 'digest', right? Or whatever Hidan had said...  
So... When should he...

Sighing, Deidara stood up in the tub, letting the water run down the drain. Meanwhile he took the shampoo bottle and squirted out a fair amount shampoo onto his hand, before putting down the bottle and dividing the amount between both hands, and then putting his hands in his hair.

A shiver run down his spine as he wondered what was actually in his hair.  
Semen... Dirt...  
The smell of those awful hands.

Frowning angrily, he grabbed the brush and began brushing. He had rubbed his scalp, so now he had decided to just brush all that crap out of his hair. All that fucking crap...  
He brushed and brushed rather violently, actually, but it didn't hurt. Nothing really seemed to hurt after what had happened to him. Or more like, psychically pain didn't hurt.

Mentally... Well, that's a different story.

Even though he didn't have any hair-balm to use, his hair was now so clean you could run your fingers through the mass of hair-threads, without getting stuck. His hair was smooth and after washing it two more times, it smelled wonderful. It smelled like... Candy... Gum... Watermelon gum...

He knew that smell...  
Hmm... Maybe he would keep this shampoo. Hehe~

Knowing Sasori and Hidan were waiting, Deidara tried his best to hurry, washing his body with soap. It was almost a bit scary, seeing how dirty he was. The water lost its clearness. So filthy...  
He kept washing, until the water once again turned clear. Now both his hair _and body_ smelled great!

It kind of made him smile. The fact that he was clean. It felt nice. He wasn't dirty.

Ah, he had to get out now though! They had to eat! He was feeling h... Hu... Ugy...? Hungry! Right?

Turning off the water, he got out of the shower. Putting his feet down on the ice cold bathroom floor, he 'iip'ed, not really approving to the coldness... Despite his disliking, he got down thought, and took the towel he had gotten from Hidan. Sasori's old towel, hmm?  
Smiling a bit, he brought it up to his nose, and smelled it... Wow... It smelled like Sasori... It really did... It smelled like yesterday, when Sasori had hugged him a-and...

Gosh, this was... Weird.

Why was... Yeah... Uhm...

He tried to get dry, using the towel all over his body. Finally, he wrapped it around his wa... Wait. Waist? His... Chest? Waist...? Uuh...

His... Waist, he guessed?

But his chest felt so revealed now...

F-fuck no, he was a guy, damn it! Men don't wrap their towel around their damn chest! For Jashin's sake.  
So, after wrapping the towel around his CHEST, he took another look in the mirror. Seeing his reflection, once again.

Maybe it was a new reflection? Because this time, he didn't feel like looking away.  
Instead, he smiled a bit, and ran his hand gently down his cheek.  
Soft...  
Smelled good, and...  
Clean...

Hidan was right. Taking a bath had been a wonderful idea to make a new _fresh_ start.  
He felt prepared. He didn't really know what to be prepared for. A new life? Whatever it was, he was prepared.

Even if no one answered.

He was so prep-

"HIDAN, YOU IDIOT, I'M NOT ASKING-"  
"FUCK YOU! I'M NOT DOING IT! SO HURRY THE HELL UP AND GO!"  
"W-WHAT?! N-NO! IT'S NOT NICE TO-"  
"Oh shut up, I _know_ you hate waiting like this!"

Was Hidan dumb?

While Deidara was in the bathroom, getting ready, Hidan and Sasori had pretty much gotten sick of waiting. Sasori was a very eager person, but he was ready to wait for Deidara. She was special! It felt rude to tell her to hurry up!  
Hidan on the other hand... Oh dear god...

"Hidan, no, I-"  
"Just go ask!"  
"I'm not doing it, Hidan."

"THEN I'LL FORCE YOU."

Gasping, the redhead felt Hidan harshly grab his shoulders, and pull his towards the bathroom door. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"  
Reacting a bit slow, Sasori fought back just when they were outside of the door. Damn, what if she heard...  
"FUCK YOU MAN, JUST ASK HER!"  
"Shh! Can't you be a LITTLE bit more RESPECTFUL?!"

...  
Blinking a few times, Deidara went up to the door, putting his ear against the door. The sound of yelling got closer and closer... _Ask me what?_

Why were they... Were they fighting? Sounded like it. What was it? They could ask anything, it was okay... Just... Ugh. Sighing, Deidara backed away from the door and went up to open it, _BUT_.

Apparently, this was Sasori's lucky day. Because just as Deidara was about to open the door, Hidan pushed him against THE SAME DOOR, making THAT SPECIFIC DOOR open up and throw him inside.

So Sasori fell. On the ground.

Fortunately, on his back.

Unfortunately...

Between Deidara's two, sexy leg- PENIS.

_Today I even tried screaming. But love, why wont you answer?  
Friend, why wont you answer me?  
Stranger?  
Anyone?  
I don't understand why you're not saying anything.  
Is that what you want?  
Silence?_


	4. Something we've forgotten

**Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto, owner of Naruto and Naruto Shippuuden!

**Warnings:** Sasori IS SUPPOSED TO BE OOC in this fanfiction, and don't let it disturb you too much, IT IS GOING TO CHANGE! sooner or later...

**Author's Note:** Yes, Deidara has a dick, and I'm trying to not make him too girly, because I really hate when that happens. I haven't been on for long, and, I used to like girly Deidara, so... Sorry again for the girlyness of Deidara in the old chapters ahaha

The cursive writing in the end and beginning are not only Deidara's thoughts, they're small poems. Sometimes they reflect Deidara's feelings and thoughts, sometimes they reflect people's feelings towards each other...

* * *

Unwanted flower Chapter 4

Something we've forgotten

_I've accepted how no one answers me.  
Each time I ask something. Each time I call for someone, something... The silence, which is thrown at me... I've accepted it.  
I've accepted how everyone have their backs turned against me.  
But just because I've learned to accept, doesn't mean I've learned to be satisfied.  
There's something missing, and it leaves me feeling so unsatisfied...  
I wonder if I'm deaf._

Remember how Deidara had described the room as cozy? Chill? Really nice and all 'home-like'?  
... He took all of it back now.  
It was SILENT. AWKWARD. AND...  
Blushing...?  
Wait...

"... OhholymotherofJesus..."

_So. Here I'm standing.  
In the bathroom, with Sasori in-between my two legs. Under them. That must be a pretty terrifying sight for him..._

Hidan has this panicked look on his face, and he looked speechless. Like Sasori had just thrown me out a window or something.  
Now, he didn't know Sasori wasn't gazing up on a penis. NOT a vagina.

About Sasori...  
He was pale.

Pale as fuck. But with slightly rosy cheeks.  
Like snow-white!

And I... I don't... Know...  
I could have felt more startled than this, but I actually felt... Well... Less scared than I should. Until I heard Sasori say something about Jesus, before he covered his eyes with his arms, biting his bottom lip.

"OhdeargodWHATTHEFLYINGFUCK."

_Only then I realized, perhaps I should move away!?  
Why was I just standing here? Being all like 'yeah check out my sexy penis, isn't it sexy?'_

No thanks.

"U-uh..." with flushed cheeks, Deidara moved away and... He... He didn't know what to do. With Hidan standing by the floor, Sasori lying on it and Deidara... Standing... There...

"YOU'RE A HE?!" The redhead shot up from where he was lying, staring at Deidara with wide brown eyes. Well, as wide as Sasori's eyes could get.

"I- Uhm..." The blonde mumbled, seeing Hidan wake up from his daze.

"Sasori, what the fuck are you saying?! YOU FUCKING PERVERT, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HER!?"

"HER!?" Standing up, Sasori glared at Hidan, looking at him as if he was talking bullshit. Which he actually was... "YOU MEAN _HIM._"  
"Un, I tried to-"

"I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

"OH SHUT UP!"

"The voice was waaaay to motherfucking manly to be a woman's voice! I just knew it! Way to husky!"

"IF YOU KNEW IT ALL ALONG, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT!?"

"DO YOU THINK I'D TAKE A BLONDE BARBIE HAIRED PERSON FOR A GUY!? TELL ME, SASORI, DO YOU THINK SO!?"

"T-"

"JUST NOW WHEN SH- HE'S ALL SHOWERED AND SHIT I CAN SEE HE'S ACTUALLY A GUY! HOW WOULD I HAVE KNOWN BACK THEN!?"

"A guy... But maybe..."

"WHAT THE FUCK NOW?!"

"Perhaps... He... She... Shemale...?"

Staring at the two with his bright blue eyes, Deidara listened to their endless yelling, feeling a bit insecure.  
He didn't really know what to say. Like many times.

Was him being a guy a bad thing? He couldn't quite understand why it would be.  
Maybe they only wanted a girl? But why? That sounded so wrong. Only accepting girls... Why would they?  
Sasori seemed so... Confused and frustrated. Angry? No not angry, but he... He was yelling so...

It was a little bit scary.

And... What was a shemale?

This was scary and it was also making Deidara furious.

He felt offended. Should you feel offended by your so called 'friends'?_ 'Family'?_

Whatever he tried to say, the other two didn't listen. Hidan cut him off, Sasori was occupied with listening to Hidan and...  
He was so fucking tired of it.

Hey, maybe... If he did like Hidan and Sasori were doing. They could hear each other without problem. Yeah, he should try!  
Let's see, he'd make his voice sound angry, upset, frustrated... Just like them.

Hoping it would work, Deidara swallowed, before yelling in a serious, outraged tone; _"IS IT A PROBLEM!? ME BEING A MAN?!"_

Both Sasori and Hidan almost had a heart-attack, hearing...

Deidara?  
_Deidara?_

Did he just yell?  
Did he just... Sound... Angry?  
Was that really rage they were hearing, in his voice?

Now, all that confusion wiped away for a moment. Sasori was left feeling guilt.  
Realizing how wrong it had been. Reacting like that, in front of Deidara. Oh god, he was so fucking dumb. Such an idiot. Damn he had really messed up.

He did _not_ want to hear Deidara upset like this.  
He had meant to make Deidara feel like home. Accepted.

"No! Definitely not, I just..."

Hidan frowned, feeling the same kind of guilt as Sasori. More light, but, it was still there. "It came as a shock."

"I tried telling you!"  
Oh god this felt so damn _good._  
"I REALLY DID BUT YOU NEVER LET ME!"  
Throwing out his feelings like this... Wow, it felt like he was loosing so much weight. Weight that he shouldn't be carrying. Weight that had been stuck on him, now finally letting go.  
"YOU ALWAYS_ CUT ME OFF,_HIDAN! SO STOP ACTING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG."

Hidan frowned, staring at the man who was yelling at him.  
It was frightening. Having that blonde angry at you.  
It was surprisingly frightening.  
Like you were being judged. Now, only Jashin could judge. But this was...

"I'm sorry... Un..."

Perhaps screaming had been a bad and impolite thing to do. But It had felt good. This was a new feeling and Deidara didn't know how to describe it in a way that made sense. Really.  
He could only be rather confused over what he had just said and done. Deidara turned his head down. Eyes now downcast, he held his face in his hands.  
Was that wrong of him? Screaming at them like that?

This was all Deidara's fault... He was being so selfish. Yelling at the people who were giving him a place to live and food to eat and... Who the hell did that?  
He had yelled at them just like that? Wonderful, Deidara, good work.  
They probably hated him even more now. More than they ever could. Deidara swore they did.  
So, if they were going to throw him out, Deidara guessed he'd have to live with it. He wouldn't even be surprised. But... He didn't really want it to happen... He had... Started to like these guys and...

"There's nothing to be sorry about." Smiling a bit, Sasori put a hand on the blonde's bare shoulder, feeling the skin being so soft and clean for the first time. "We didn't... We didn't mean to over-react like that."  
This was all just happening so quickly...

"Yeah, Sasori's a drama-queen sometimes."

"HIDAN!? I'M NOT!"

"See?"

Instantly, Deidara knew who that hand belonged to. Before he had even started talking. Before Deidara had even looked at him.  
Deidara kenw it was Sasori. He was happy it was.  
"I'm sorry." Deidara repeated.  
What else to say? He didn't know! He was just sorry. He knew Sasori didn't want him to say it, but he had to. He just... He...

"Hah, he's not listening to you anymore, fuck-face..."

Sasori who had finally turned serious; FINALLY; gave the Jashinist an unamused look, shaking his head in disappointment. He knew very well, Hidan was Hidan. But Hidan should know better. This wasn't really a moment to joke...

Even if Deidara showed up to be a strong, stubborn person, he was clearly mentally unstable. And it was definitely not weird that he was.

It was difficult imagining how it felt like. Being sexually abused. It really was. But couldn't the Jashinist even try to understand the feelings of the blonde a bit?  
"Hidan, could you please get out?"

Just as Hidan was about to use some sort of come-back about how Sasori was a pervert for wanting to stay in the same room as a naked woman and 'talk', he remember... Penis. Guy. Right. Fuck.  
Well, Sasori might be bi. Or even homo. He didn't really know, Sasori had never been interested in relationships.

Perhaps he'd have a girlfriend or two but it wasn't like he had been close enough to them for Hidan being able to remember their names.  
But he had dated. Guys? Hmm... No idea. "Man, come on, why do I have to get out!?"

"Just leave."

"Fuck you, I'm gonna go eat."  
With that, Hidan left to the fucking kitchen. And just at that fucking moment he realized he had fucking thought a fucking man was fucking attractive.  
... Whoa.  
He guessed it was chill though... It wasn't like he had thought of banging him.

...

... Okay now he had...

Turning his head back to Deidara, as soon as Hidan was gone, Sas-  
Sa...  
Sas... So... Ri... Uhm...

That day when Sasori had found him. The day he had brought him to this particular house... He had... Done something. Some sort of really weird action. And that action had made Deidara feel... Calm. In some way.  
Only now he realized why he felt this special kind of feeling towards Sasori.  
Thinking of the moment he had put his arms around him. And Deidara had done the same. It had felt amazingly good.

Touching someone else was a really weird, un-welcome thing in Deidara's mind. But with Sasori, he knew everything was okay. It was okay to at least give him a...

A hug?  
What the-  
Blushing a bit, Sasori was quite surprised as he was put in such a sudden embrace. A very warm, soft and gentle embrace, if he may add.  
"Hey..."  
"I didn't mean to yell."

Admitting that, Deidara didn't know if Sasori was feeling uncomfortable. Because he tensed up as soon as the hug had tightened.  
But after a few seconds, right when Deidara was about to let go and apologize for... Doing... This? Sasori returned the gesture, sighing as he copied the blonde's actions, making it a warm, perfect embrace by putting his own arms around he_-HIM._

Feeling his heart beat slightly faster, Deidara felt nothing but relived. Relieved and very calm. Then again, relieved and calm were pretty much the same things, weren't they? Well... Kind of, right? Okay fine stop it...

"You know... It's alright. Hidan is right, I did over-react..." Sasori should be the one, apologizing. A real apology. "I shouldn't have. I'm sorry, Deidara. Forgive me?"  
And I'm also sorry for staring at your genitals but let's not talk about that.

W-was he asking for an apology!? From... But... What?!  
Sheesh. Deidara didn't really know what do say. He felt... Honored? No idea why but Sasori asking him for an apology made him feel... Special. "I-It's fine, un!"  
As long as they wouldn't talk about what Sasori had actually 'seen', Deidara guessed it was fine, b-because-

Damn it, Deidara probably also wanted an apology for what Sasori had actually 'seen'... "And, I... Uhm..."  
But... BUT IT WAS SO AWKWARD, WHILE HUGGING AND ALL...

"Un?"  
"U-uhm..." Sasori blushed. Maybe saying it while hugging was better. At least Deidara wouldn't get to see Sasori's red cheeks...  
"I'm also sorry about... Looking... I mean... I should have looked away... I-I mean I should have looked at all but Hidan pushed me and I- Uh..."

Wait a minute.  
In all this... Stammering and stuttering... Deidara realized something. Weren't they...? Both...  
"But Danna, it's not such a big deal, right? We're both guys." Or should they still feel embarrassed? Honestly, Deidara didn't really remember how that worked...

Fuck.

Okay. Okay. Uhm. How was he going to explain this...?  
'Yeah, usually that's how it would work. But you see, I'm gay.'

Wait... No...  
Did Deidara even know what gay was?  
'But you see, I'm a homosexual!'  
... Nope. Weirder.  
'But you see, I'm a fag!'  
GOD NO. WHAT THE HELL.  
'But you see, I enjoy dicks.'

...

"Yeah, but you see... I..."

I... What? ...Blinking, Deidara waited for the redhead to continue. Said redhead was silent for a while, before he shook his head a bit, laughing as he let go of the hug.  
"I.. Kind of got to go to the toilet, so, why don't you go join Hidan- I mean, put on some clothes, _then_ go join Hidan... He seemed a bit... I don't know, talk to him."  
Go to the toilet? Pfft, no, not really. But he just... Yeah. Ahum.  
He was just SMART. Shut up.  
"Oh, okay."  
"Yeah, sorry..."  
"No, It's cool, un."

Nothing special happened after that.  
Clothes were quickly changed, and Deidara took a little moment to take in the feeling of being clean. It felt fantastic. And now, both Sasori and Hidan knew about his true gender. So he didn't feel like he was lying anymore.

_I know it's a bit weird, touching myself like this. Letting my palms run over my arms over and over again... It felt kind of creepy doing it, but I couldn't stop. This felt wonderful. I felt so, clean. Finally. Finally, looking at myself, didn't bring back any horrible memories._

I could see myself in the big mirror. With some real clothes on. I don't want to brag, but... I look pretty good, hehe.

"Hidan, un" Smiling, Deidara sat down next to the Jashinist. Much to his surprise, Hidan hadn't started eating at all. But... He said he would...  
"Hey... Dei..." Hidan just smiled back.

He didn't care if Deidara was a boy or a girl. He respected her, whatever he was... Ugh, that sounded terribly cheesy, but still... "Sorry for freaking out."  
"It's okay, Hidan."  
"I'll try to give you more space to talk, next time... Sorry."  
"Un."

"Let's have this awesome dinner then. Where the hell is firecrotch!?"

"Man, calm down." Laughing a bit, Sasori finally joined the other two. With all the tree of them now sitting by the table, they just... Well, there was a fleeting moment of silence, before Deidara coughed a bit, breaking it. It had been a nice silence, but... "I'm hungry, un."  
"Let's fucking eat! Why the hell are we just sitting here?"  
"I hope you'll like it, Danna..."  
"I'm sure I will!"  
"You better, fuckface..."

Deidara really loved how they didn't even mention anything about what had happened to him, or why he was here... They didn't mention anything about it. They ate while having small conservations about normal things.  
Even if Hidan had wanted to make this dinner to make Deidara happy... To make him feel welcome, almost like a little celebration... They didn't mention the blonde at all. They all just talked together normally, like Deidara had been living there for years.

Hopefully he would.

This was very nice.

_Deaf, blind... Whatever I am...  
I don't think I care anymore.  
I don't think it matters.  
Because as long as I can talk, people will know,  
That I am searching for an answer  
Never will I hear one  
But it's okay  
As long as they know_


End file.
